Conversation Week

A good question is key to a good conversation. The Conversation Week Team reached out to thinkers, activists and dialogue experts around the world, looking for the right question or questions to spark lively conversation anywhere.

We developed a list of criteria and a list of potential questions and winnowed the list down to the 10 questions below. The first five were the most popular; the second five were all tied for “next place.

While Conversation Week 2007 is over March 31, the questions below remain food for thought for a year of conversations, in Conversation Cafes, [www.conversationcafe.org] or online at dropping knowledge or anywhere.  Want to create your own questions for future conversations? The criteria can guide you. 

What makes a good question for dialogue? We felt it would be:

1. Open, without embedded cultural, political or ideological assumptions.
2. Inviting both head and heart. People can respond with both their feelings and their thoughts.
3. Honest. It has not already been answered conclusively – yet finding an answer is crucial to moving forward.
4. Experiential. People can if they choose tell a story or recall an experience that relates to the question.
5. Inclusive. Anyone at the table could have something valuable to say – whatever age, race, gender, education level.
6. Generative. Can’t be answered with a “yes” or “no” or a platitude.
7. Relevant. Even though broad, applies to many of the real issues we each and all face.

The Questions!
Pick any one of these questions for your Conversation Week dialogue, the one you think your friends and neighbors would find most interesting and fruitful. Whatever question you pick, once you’ve presented it, tell your guests that they can respond with how they feel about the question, what the think about the question or what they are doing – or want to do – as a response to this question. Having thoughts, feelings and ideas for action all present in your conversation will make it richer – and allow everyone to feel comfortable with what they can offer. Remember, the question simply gets the conversation started. No need to “answer” it – or even to stay with it once the conversation is lively. Follow the thread of interest of the group. Return to the question if the conversation gets scattered, superficial or stuck. Otherwise, enjoy the pleasure of shared curiosity and the richness of all the perspectives. Remember, you don’t have to agree or reach a shared conclusion, only listen with respect, speak sincerely and see what you discover about yourself, others or life. We aren’t solving anything other than the quality of civil discourse – we are widening the circles of understanding and care from which solutions that work might be derived

After each question we offer a paragraph of reflections only to prime your pump. Ignore them if you have a different inspiration.

1. What do you think is the most important question in the world now?
   This was the top pick, perhaps because every reviewer found our request to find “the most important question” so stimulating. Questions direct our attention and focus our creativity. What do we need to ask ourselves now? It can be a philosophical question or a pragmatic one. It can be political or personal. You don’t need to come to consensus about the most important question. You only need to explore the range, and see what’s behind each one, what they suggest, what they tell you about yourself, others and life, where they point.
2. What’s the highest leverage action you or anyone could take towards a just, peaceful, and sustainable world by 2025?
   Sustainability is both a buzzword and the key word of our times. We are at a turning point. Actions that made sense in a less populous, polluted and technologically advanced time don’t make sense anymore, but our habits, customs, lifestyles, laws and politics don’t allow us to easily change. Common sense says we can all live well within the earth’s means, but getting there is a big challenge. How do you feel about where we are now? What changes do you see that give you hope? You don’t have to agree, just put what has heart and meaning for each of you on the table and follow where your interest takes you.
3. How are we making life better for our children - and what else can we be doing?
   Our children are our future. They are our love and our hope. What child inspires you to care for the future? What might be a better future for them? How can we create that better future now by how we care for our own children, others’ children and the generations to come? Following the thread of this question might inspire you to appreciate the children in your life, to act in new ways on their behalf, to be grateful for those who gave you the world you live in – or something else entirely.
4. What do you think we can do now to make life better here?
   If a better life isn’t happening in your home, neighborhood or community, it isn’t happening. Actions elsewhere – in halls of power, in other places – can inspire you to make a better life where you are, but in the end, all concrete action is local. Whether you’ve just made something wonderful happen, are in the middle of a great project, have plans for the future or have given up on making life better, this question prods your imagination, and asks you see what could be better right where you are – and what you might do to make it so.
5. What do you believe freedom is for?
   We do so much in this world in the name of freedom, hoping to be free from oppression, and be free to have the life we want. We wage wars in the name of freedom. We struggle against the prisons of our lives, be they tyrannical leaders or difficult circumstances. Beyond that wonderful feeling of release, however, what do we want to use this freedom for? What are we truly free to do? What responsibilities do we have in exercising this freedom? What say do others have over our freedoms? America has developed one understanding of freedom – are there others? When in your life have you felt free, and what did you use this freedom for? This question asks us to explore one of the key values guiding our own lives – and global conflicts.
6. What does it mean to you to be a human?
   When have you felt most human? Who inspires you with their humanity? Is there a universal definition of being human? Is it human to be inhumane – is our dark side part of what it means to be human? This rich question can lead many directions – history, politics, compassionate action, religion, cultural differences and more. Follow it together with no need to establish a shared understanding, only to understand yourself, others and the world better.
7. How can we heal the wounds of violence and war?
   Histories of nations as well as histories of families suggest that violence begets violence. Rape and war, bullying and battering are often skirmishes in longer wars of words and weapons sometimes going back centuries. Through violence and war, we suffer injuries to our pride, our confidence, our security, our bodies, our property and our lives. How can we heal that? What do we owe one another, whether friend or foe? When have you experienced or seen forgiving the unforgivable? What understanding do you have of war and violence that gives you hope – or at least direction? What can we do collectively to heal these wounds?
8. What is one of the most important things you have learned in your life so far?
   Each person’s two minutes of wisdom will naturally lead to other life lessons to share. New insights will come from what others say. Include what led you to that gem of wisdom or how it has helped you through a difficult time. By listening to one another’s life-lesson without anyone trying to convince or impress others, everyone can expand their store of wisdom. Consider, too, who you would like to hear and heed your life lesson. We often wonder why mates, bosses or leaders don’t understand what is so clear to us. What do you want to say – and to whom?
9. How much is enough? For you? For others?
   What is enough anyway? Is it having what you need? Want? What others have? Everything? When have you felt full satisfied and relaxed with no need for more? What else do you need – materially or spiritually - to feel happy? What are those basics we should all have enough of? Whose responsibility is it to make sure we all have our basic needs met? What makes people who have plenty dissatisfied with their lot in life? What do we owe the poor? What happens to people’s souls, families, communities and the world when wealth is distributed unfairly? How can we have a world where there is enough for everyone, and everyone has enough? Who knows - you might discover something by following the thread of this question that creates a breakthrough.
10. When do you feel most alive?
    African American preacher and ethicist Howard Thurman said “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Do you agree with this? When have you felt that being “most alive” has also been what the world needs? Where did that feeling take you? When did it leave you? What now might make you come alive? Who in your life exemplifies this aliveness? The world needs a lot right now – are there other sources of right action than “aliveness.”? This question can help everyone explore what motivates and inspires them – and bring that to whatever is theirs to do.

If none of these questions resonate with you, here is more information on what makes a good question - make your own!